Are you your own worst
Enemy?
Introduction
We all seem to cling to familiar habits, even if in our logical minds we know that some of them are no good for us. After decades as a therapist helping people manage their lives more successfully, I’ve concluded that self-sabotage is part of the human condition; we all have attachments we’d be better off without. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if it’s food, the lottery, or a cult. In my writing, I set out to tackle the everyday face of irresistible urges, exploring root causes, personal struggles and the gift of recovery.
What’s stopping you from being your best self?
How many times have you promised yourself to straighten out?
Why is it so hard to achieve the growth you want?
I understand these challenges and offer you a two-step program to finally let go of unwanted habits:
- Uncover the source of your weaknesses
- Make lasting changes in your behavior

Books

Love and Kisses from My Padded Cell
A compendium of the personal stories of ten recovering addicts. Dr. Katz gives voice to ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances, offering a nonjudgmental glimpse into what individuals are willing to do in the service of their irresistible urges.
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When Sane People Do Insane Things
A practical guide to the enrichment of mental health. The book elaborates on what is essential and what is hazardous, offering the reader an opportunity to help himself reach the most precious gift: a life well-lived.
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My Last Summer as a Fat Girl
In her memoir, Dr. Katz opens up about the events that have given her life its miraculous shape. She invites the reader on a personal journey as she investigates the powerful role food has played in her biography.
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Biography
Dr. Ellie Katz is a leading practitioner of holistic psychotherapy. For the last forty years, her eclectic interventions have featured innovative approaches to using meditation, guided thinking and the Bach Flower Remedies. Dr. Katz has lectured at Einstein/Montefiore Medical Center, the University of Istanbul, First Beijing Medical Center, and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. She has been a senior staff member at the Retorno rehab facility since 2003.
Blog
Jan 3, 2021
Toxic Shoulds
A young neighbor of mine recently turned to me for advice. Her ten-year-old son has been acting out so badly, the school calls every week to complain about his lack of cooperation. At home, he’s nasty to his brother...
Read MoreDec 11, 2020
Dedicated to personal growth
I had a long talk recently with a very close friend of mine. For decades, he’s struggled with a nasty but mild form of self-injury that is shared by millions: the compulsion to pick at his scabs. He rationalizes it by...
Read MoreNov 5, 2020
Four reasons you might need a new therapist
It’s not always easy to find the therapist of your dreams. You may think you have a lead on someone amazing—maybe your friend has been working with a new practitioner, and the improvements are plain to see. She’s...
Read MoreSep 1, 2020
Bad day getting you down?
We all have days when nothing feels right. Anything and everything gets on our nerves, from our spouses reminding us to call the plumber to the cheerful greetings of our coworkers. We’re not interested in socializing,...
Read MoreAug 2, 2020
The spiritual component in these times
This coronavirus stuff is really getting to me. I try not to think about it too much, but that’s not realistic. It just seems every time I turn on the news, I’m bombarded by statistics – those relevant to my life in...
Read MoreJul 1, 2020
The uncertainties of recovery
I said my farewells recently to a patient who’s been with us for the last eight months. His family sent him to us to straighten him out because his lifestyle was impossible. He was a thief, a drug dealer, and kept...
Read MoreJun 3, 2020
Boundaries
Because of the business I’m in, I have daily encounters with emotionally and cognitively bruised individuals. I’m talking here about people who have something in their pasts, ancient or recent, that emotionally...
Read MoreMay 4, 2020
In these crazy times
I have not stepped foot on the ground of my clinic at the rehab for forty days – the duration of Noah’s flood. Little did I know, when I last locked my door a month ago, that I would not be coming back to see my...
Read MoreApr 1, 2020
Save the planet
Last month, we had plans to go to America. As the date of our trip drew closer, however, people started getting more and more hysterical about coronavirus. At first, we thought the choice of whether or not to take the...
Read MoreMar 2, 2020
Happiness and the addict’s thinking
Last Wednesday, in a group session, one of my patients described the joy he felt shooting pure cocaine into his veins. Oy vey, I thought. What am I supposed to do with this? I had no personal experience with cocaine,...
Read MoreFeb 3, 2020
Thoughts from a funeral
I went to the funeral of a remarkable man recently: Professor Shlomo Eckstein, who was cherished by the multitudes. I was one mourner among hundreds of people who came to pay their last respects. The eulogies were...
Read MoreJan 2, 2020
My plants
My followers, please don’t judge me, but I grew up in Scarsdale. We had a gardener who kept the property looking lovely; every Sabbath, the florist in town delivered sweet, little flower arrangements. These were the...
Read MoreDec 10, 2019
Surviving the hard times
What a rip-off. Forty-seven years of daily meditation, and I still find myself in a whirlpool of impatience. I can’t believe it. I should have this down pat by now, and yet I’ve gotten myself into a situation where I...
Read MoreNov 20, 2019
Uh oh, a crossroads
Oh boy, oh boy. I’m in a pickle. I can’t recall, in the last few decades, ever having a dry spell in which I was not passionate about a writing project. It doesn’t feel good to be in this position. It upsets me not to...
Read MoreOct 5, 2019
Trauma
[responsivevoice]I have of late been approached by several patients to do one-on-one sessions, specifically focused on helping them extricate themselves from the grip of past trauma. Every individual is unique when it...
Read MoreSep 8, 2019
Finishing at last
[responsivevoice] A little over thirty years ago, I wrote what I thought was a finished novel. I created characters I adored; I had a ball setting them up for profound challenges and creating a vehicle for solutions. I...
Read MoreAug 16, 2019
Old dogs, new tricks
[responsivevoice]If you follow this blog, you’re probably aware that I’ve written several books about my work, my philosophy of mental health, and the psychological insights I’ve gained from my own experiences. I wrote...
Read MoreJul 1, 2019
Working with my hands
[responsivevoice]I’m not sure I’ve ever articulated this before on the blog, but I’m someone who does very little with her hands. While I’m married to an artist who is interminably, inevitably in a state of manual...
Read MoreJun 2, 2019
In the Line of Fire
[responsivevoice]In my memoir, My Last Summer as a Fat Girl, I explored my past with overeating and basically came to a place of stability. In general, I feel safe enough with any kind of food to taste it and enjoy it...
Read MoreMay 1, 2019
Old friends
[responsivevoice]On a recent trip to America to visit family and friends, I yet again realized how important it is to nurture old ties. I’m all for new acquaintances and encounters (hell, I’m the friendliest person I...
Read MoreApr 18, 2019
Crossing the line
[responsivevoice]I am a staunch advocate of creating imaginary lines around our thoughts and behaviors. By this, I mean that it is important to recognize and firmly establish boundaries that we can’t cross if we want...
Read MoreMar 1, 2019
Overmedicated
[responsivevoice]Of late, many of my patients have been talking to me about their medications: how it’s taking too long to get them back to a stable mood, how they’re not deriving the benefits. How they feel like...
Read MoreFeb 2, 2019
Gratitude
[responsivevoice]Thirty-five years ago, while I was pregnant with my fourth child, my good friend Ziva was on a visit from the States and shared with me that she had been studying Robert Fritz’s ideas about how to...
Read MoreJan 1, 2019
Chica
[responsivevoice]As I sit down to write this, I have a vague recollection that last year, I wrote a blog post about the love of a dog. I advise anyone reading this to go back to what I wrote then. It’s as true today as...
Read MoreDec 4, 2018
Septuagenarian
[responsivevoice]Although my official birthday is 12/12, according to the Jewish calendar, it often falls in November. That’s why I celebrated turning seventy towards the end of last month, with family and friends....
Read MoreNov 7, 2018
Self-diagnosis
[responsivevoice] For the last 35 years, I have explored the value of the Bach Flower Remedies to address the emotional component in psychological and physical illness. My beloved, dearly departed friend Stephanie sent...
Read MoreOct 17, 2018
Counter-transference
[responsivevoice] I made a special detour a few weeks ago to visit the rehab on my day off. t seemed one of our young ladies, a patient given to high drama, had decided she wanted out. She was adamant about going back...
Read MoreSep 2, 2018
Getting ready for the Jewish New Year
[responsivevoice]Well, boys and girls, it’s that time of the year again, when my Jewish brothers and sisters and I take stock. For those of us who want to refine our characters, this is The Time to do it. Instead of...
Read MoreAug 1, 2018
Owning up to behavior patterns
[responsivevoice] Yesterday I introduced the subject of behavior patterns to several groups that I was working with at the rehab. Know thyself; it is vitally important to know what your patterns are, what behaviors and...
Read MoreJul 1, 2018
If I Had a Magic Wand
[responsivevoice] About ten years ago, I compiled an arsenal of props that I kept in a bag in my office at work: a black pointed hat from a witch's costume, an amazing array of hand puppets, a mirror, and a magic wand...
Read MoreJun 1, 2018
Not waiting around for inspiration
[responsivevoice] Of late, I have been working with my groups at the rehab on the notion that ultimately, if we want to get better, we don’t need to wait for inspiration to hit us. It’s entirely possible that we can be...
Read MoreMay 1, 2018
I am waiting for the end of cruelty
[responsivevoice] Recently, I noticed a few articles about an astronomical event that predicted the coming of the Messiah on April 23. The idea is sensational to me. As a Jew, I’m not picturing the Second Coming of...
Read MoreApr 9, 2018
Politics: What can I do about it?
[responsivevoice]Don’t ask me about politics. As a psychologist, the work I do focuses mainly on thoughts and feelings. I help people reach new heights of flexibility, losing rigid attachments to an idea of how things...
Read MoreMar 1, 2018
Why would you deliberately hurt yourself?
[responsivevoice]Life is hard enough to begin with. The idea that you would maliciously hurt yourself seems baffling. Unfortunately, in my years working as a psychologist, I have encountered a vast number of acts of...
Read MoreFeb 1, 2018
Tooting my own horn
[responsivevoice]When I completed revisions on my first book, I was faced with a dilemma. I had written the book after being sent by the Israeli Foreign Ministry to lecture on mental health in China and Turkey. In...
Read MoreJan 1, 2018
Alone but not lonely
[responsivevoice]Recently, I went to a repair shop to get my cell phone fixed. My friends and family had been complaining of late that when they called me, my voice sounded muffled and too quiet. It turned out that the...
Read MoreDec 3, 2017
Qualifying for the spiritual olympics
[responsivevoice]Just came back yesterday from a three-day jaunt to the town of Uman in Ukraine, where a very important eighteenth-century Hassidic rabbi is buried, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. While I am not a Breslaver...
Read MoreNov 9, 2017
What can I do to take care of myself?
[responsivevoice]Working at the rehab, I spend a lot of time helping my clients develop healthy avenues for ensuring good mood and serenity. I’m talking here about learning to protect their entire psychophysiology on a...
Read MoreOct 16, 2017
Accepting my limitations
[responsivevoice]The other day, my car wouldn’t start. I got into the vehicle, la di da, ready to be on my way, and it simply wouldn’t turn on. My husband’s assistant came running, enthusiastic to give me a hand, but...
Read MoreSep 14, 2017
Knowing what better looks like
[responsivevoice]I spend a lot of time working with my clients on change. Ostensibly, that’s the reason they’ve come to rehab. They cannot continue to expose themselves time after time to the ridiculous at best,...
Read MoreAug 7, 2017
There must be SOMETHING about me that’s worthy…
[responsivevoice]At the rehab yesterday, I conducted an exercise in which the clients were instructed to begin a sentence with, “It’s hard for me…” One young lady’s response set the whole group off and running headlong...
Read MoreJul 11, 2017
Obsessive attachments
[responsivevoice]The other day, in the group I was leading, I asked if any of the participants had an obsession or attachment they wanted to explore. The gentleman to my left, a weed-smoker for thirty years, said, “I...
Read MoreJun 5, 2017
Unexpected challenges
Knocked down, but not knocked out. [responsivevoice]A year ago, I underwent cataract surgery on my right eye, otherwise known as my weak eye. Surgery went well. The anesthesia kept me comfortably in and out of reality,...
Read MoreMay 13, 2017
Staring my fear down
[responsivevoice]I am readying myself psychically for a second cataract operation. Due to a variety of circumstances, I have waited a year between surgeries. The doctor who did the first procedure examined me a few...
Read MoreApr 17, 2017
Holocaust Remembrance Day
[responsivevoice]Holocaust Remembrance Day is coming up, and I swear, the older I get, the more devastated I become as I watch the documentaries and hear the radio interviews of the aging survivors. It pains me to come...
Read MoreMar 10, 2017
The love of a dog
[responsivevoice]Often, when I do guided thinking with my clients, I ask first if they love, hate or fear dogs. (Guided thinking is a therapeutic technique that involves me instructing my client to render forth an...
Read MoreFeb 6, 2017
Not my most impressive workshop
[responsivevoice]I was recently asked by a friend of mine, the director of a women’s seminary, to create a workshop for professionals in Jerusalem. I thought it would be a delightful opportunity to talk about some of...
Read MoreJan 11, 2017
Generosity of spirit
[responsivevoice]On occasion, when I'm at work at the rehab, I look around and ask myself: How did I get into all this, anyway? I must admit that working with addicts is often a frustrating experience. Many times, I...
Read MoreDec 7, 2016
When a moral compass is lacking
[responsivevoice]I have come to realize that some of my clients literally have no concept of right and wrong. They have no intrinsic moral code. Everything is okay and acceptable, sort of, when it suits them. They can...
Read MoreNov 13, 2016
HOW do you want to be when you grow up?
[responsivevoice]It’s often asked of children, and some immature adults: What would you like to be when you grow up? Personally, I think a better question would be how you want to be. How would you like to be...
Read MoreOct 9, 2016
The virtues of becoming your own cheerleader
Becoming your own cheerleader – it’s the best way of keeping motivated I can think of. [responsivevoice]I have noticed over the years that one of the reasons people quit when they’ve undertaken a challenge is that...
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